


Faded Attraction

by Limpet666



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Mage Lavellan - Freeform, Non-descript Lavellan, Smut, Solasmance Lavellan, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 20:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5220221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Limpet666/pseuds/Limpet666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a post-breach world, two souls struggle to find a common ground, and end up finding solace with each other.</p><p>(Self-contained story set 6-18months after DAI, before Tresspasser.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faded Attraction

After two weeks, everyone still expected him to walk back into Skyhold at any moment.

After four, most had their doubts

After six, she was the only one that still looked.

Lavellan was still angry, furious even. Solas had promised answers and given her none. She wasn’t sure, if he did return, what she would do first. Kiss him or punch him.

She leaned more towards the latter.

And the others of the Inquisition soon learned to avoid the subject. It had been bad enough addressing their break up whilst Solas had still been there. But now he was gone…

She felt like a fool. She had trusted her heart to someone else for the first time in her life, and he had pulled away just as she had fallen.

“ _Banal abelas! Banal vhenan!”_

Her heart had ached, _physically_ ached for weeks after. But she had held on to the hope that once it was all over, once Corypheus was defeated, he would explain. If not a reconciliation, then at least maybe some closure.

But he had gone. The rift in the sky still humming in the air, and Solas had disappeared.

Lavellan had put on as brave a face as she was able in the weeks to come. At the celebratory party she had smiled and congratulated her friends for as long as she could stand before retiring to her room. A place she could barely stand being any more, but the only place she could be alone.

The balcony where she had spent many hours listening to the stories about his wanderings, about the Fade, about anything he would talk about.

The desk she had fallen asleep at many times, only to be woken by warm hands and a gentle voice.

The bed where they had slept, just slept, curled up together.

And the laughter in the morning about her terrible bed hair.

  


Her whole room was a cacophony of memories, and she had spent most nights sleeping on the small lounger next to the stairs, unable to crawl into that bed that she was sure would still smell like him.

\---

Hawke was….Hawke _had been_ a great man, and a true hero. Lavellan hadn’t had the chance to know him long, but she had immediately liked him. A mage, like her, and prone to high spirits, he had been a joy to travel with.

Leaving him in the Fade had been the most painful decision she had ever made. In the immediate aftermath she hadn't had the luxury of time to dwell. But once they were back to Skyhold and in the privacy of her room, she had cried for hours in Solas’ arms, questioning her decision and trying to swallow the stone in her chest.

She could barely look at Varric in the days after, but somehow he never blamed her. No matter how much she thought she deserved it.

But time had moved on, and there were other duties to focus on, and people were dying left and right as chaos spread. Her heart hardened, and the casualties became just numbers in reports.

And then they defeated Corypheus, and stopped the end of the world. So all the sacrifice was worth it.

Apparently.

She wasn't sure she'd ever actually believe that.

\---

Fenris came to Skyhold six months after the breach was closed.

In the chaos of the years that had passed since falling into the Fade that second time, and the many events that had happened, it never occurred to her to avoid him. And Varric certainly gave her no indications that she should give Fenris a wide berth.

They were introduced casually in the main hall of Skyhold.

On her way out, she noticed the white-haired elf talking to Varric and, having been apprised that Fenris would be visiting, went over to greet them.

“Inquisitor!” Varric greeted her, looking as pleased as ever, and she smiled in reply, “Let me introduce Fenris. You’ve read about him.”

The elf stepped back and to the side to face her, and she knew immediately that she wasn’t welcome. His face was closed off and jaw clenched as he stared down at her.

“A pleasure,” Josephine had taught her well to hide her feelings, and she held out her hand to shake, “Varric’s talks about you often.”

Her hand was ignored, and Fenris gave her one more derisive look before looking to Varric, “I’ll talk to you later,” he said in a clipped tone, before turning heel and stalking out.

Varric sighed.

“He doesn’t like me,” Lavellan looked to Varric with raised eyebrows.

“He doesn’t like anyone, your Inquisitorialness, I wouldn’t worry about it,” Varric said with a laugh, but she knew there was more to it.

\---

Their relationship only deteriorated from there.

Fenris had taken up temporary residence in Skyhold. He spent most of his time aiding scouting parties, helping them clear out the remaining dangers from areas affected by rifts. He was a powerful warrior, and an asset to any team he travelled with.

Almost any team.

Lavellan extended the hand of friendship and invited him along with her group, but after the third time they got in a heated argument over nothing, she had declared she never wanted to travel with him again. The first had ended amicably enough, but by the third time, they had to be pulled apart by Varric and Cassandra lest they seriously injure one another.

Fenris’ animosity towards her was clear and unbridled, and it soon became obvious that the wisest decision was to keep them far away from each other.

Dorian had once had the audacity to suggest they bond over ‘elfy’ things, and she had spent nearly an hour angrily educating him on the differences between Dalish and city elves.

None of the rest of her close friends wanted anything to do with the situation, except Varric, who was unable to leave it alone. He was constantly suggesting they take another trip together, or go for drinks, or play Wicked Grace. Lavellan guessed it was because he was stuck in the middle, but she soon grew tired of trying to appease him at her own expense.

However, it was for his sake that Lavellan never acted on the urge to confront Fenris directly.

The rest of Skyhold held mostly positive views on Fenris; he was dark and broody, but generally a good guy. And his warrior prowess meant that people felt safe around him, an influential thing in a still-scary post-breach world.

But all things reach their tipping point.

\---

It had been one year.

One whole year since they smote Corypheus and ended the end of the world.

Exactly one year since Solas had left. And never come back.

The rest of Skyhold was celebrating. The rest of _Thedas_ was celebrating. But she couldn’t get Solas off her mind, and her mood was dire.

It was dark when she finally ventured from her room. Josephine had insisted she make an appearance, and so she made her way down into the main hall.

Her appearance was greeted by a load furore of shouting and cheering, and she smiled obligingly, as Leliana had showed her, and shook hand with those that approached her.

She stayed as long as she could stand at the ‘official’ celebration, sipping on wine and making polite conversation, before eventually excusing herself to step outside.

The cool air was refreshing, and she lowered her head in greeting to the people she met as she walked down the stairs. Varric had informed her that there was an unofficial party going on in the tavern for the members of the Inquisition that didn’t want to deal with all the fancy-pants business Josephine and Leliana preferred.

The atmosphere inside the tavern was hot and loud, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she entered.

Almost everyone she knew was sat at one long bench and she was called to join them with an uproarious cheer.

She took a seat between The Iron Bull and Cole; opposite Varric, who was next to Fenris.

Lavellan gratefully accepted the half-flagon of mead Bull handed her, and smiled at Cole when he slipped a hand into hers. He knew she was sad, but had learned not to bring it up in company. Instead he held her hand and moved closer to her for comfort, a gesture she appreciated.

The first drink went down fast, and was quickly replaced with another, and before she knew it, the alcohol and the company had raised her spirits and she was laughing along with the rest of the table at Sera’s crude and inventive stories.

The night drew on, and more alcohol was drunk, until finally people started to file out.

Cole disappeared early and they all knew it was because he was helping the drunks get back to their beds. He enjoyed making sure everyone was safe.

Krem and the chargers retired a little later and emptied half the table when they left, and Bull followed soon after, trailing a heavily bearded dwarf who had been flirting with him all night.

Sera also disappeared, although none of them saw who with.

Another drink, and after a tense and palpable silence, Fenris excused himself. He and Varric exchanged a few words before the elf turned to leave.

He could have retired without incident, if he hadn’t paused to send a last scathing look at her.

“ _Fenedis iasa.”_ She spat before finishing the last of her drink and slamming the cup down before getting to her feet.

“Inquisitor.” Varric tried to placate her, but she was out the door without replying.

Fenris wasn’t even to the steps leading up into the main building when she stalked out from the tavern.

“ _What_ is your problem?” She snapped, taking a couple of steps forward, her sharp eyes focussing on him intently. His long white hair shifted in the breeze as he stood with his back to her. His hair was longer than Varric had describe it in The Tale of the Champion, but she supposed that was to be expected in the years since he wrote it.

“You really need to ask that of me?” He turned his head just another to slant a sidelong look at her, his dark brows drawn low.

“Yes!” She took a step towards him, “You’ve done nothing but scowl and argue with me since you got here. And I don’t even-”

“You got him killed.” Fenris turned to face her, his voice low and dangerous, each word enunciated clearly. Even with the distance, she could see the snarl on his face and the tears in his eyes.

She hesitated, “Hawke…” she whispered.

She saw his pain, and for a moment was able to forgive him, before her own reality crashed down.

“I had to make a decision,” she bit out, “I’ve had to make so many decisions. Do you know how many people have died because of _my_ choices?”

They were stalking towards each other now, a red haze of anger between then.

“You think I care about your guilt?” he spat, “You, the great hero, the great _Inquisitor_? Half of Thedas burns and you’re lauded as the saviour?”

“I did my best. I didn’t want any of this.” They were eye to eye now, Fenris’ tattoos glowing dangerously, and mana crackled at Lavellan’s fingertips.

“I know all about you, _I_ _nquisitor,_ ” Fenris growled, “Varric told me all about how well you _play the game_ , how you negotiated with the ancients. You held the fate of the world in you hands, but you couldn’t even get the man you love to stay with you.” The last was spat with such venom she almost recoiled as though physically struck.

But she threw the first real punch, so to speak.

The blast of raw magic hit Fenris in the chest point-blank and sent him skidding back across the ground. At first his expression was surprised, but that quickly changed to anger as he leapt forward with a growl.

She braced for the blow, but was still thrown back across the courtyard, crashing into the dummy Cassandra used for practice, and skidding up to the wall. She was stunned for only moment, then rage had her on her feet and meeting Fenris’ next lunge, ducking to drive an elbow into his gut before a sharp backhand knocked her off balance.

Neither had an equipment, but both were more than adequate weapons by themselves, and no one was there o break them up as they fought.

Lavellan scorched great waves across Fenris’ clothes and skin as they leapt and grappled and punched, whilst rapidly growing bruises spread across her pale skin.

Split skin bled freely as they fought, and dirt from where they fell soon stained the rest of their clothes an earthy brown.

“It’s your fault!” Fenris bit out as he swung a fist at Lavellan’s head, missing her cheek by a hair’s breadth, and dancing back to avoid the kick she aimed at his ribs.

He came to a stop, his whole form tense and shaking, before his tattoos erupted in a flash of white light.

“It’s your fault he’s gone!” His cry was so broken Lavellan was momentarily struck off-guard, enough that when Fenris charged at her she wasn’t prepared to defend herself.

She was thrown against the far wall with a cry, a noise that grew into an agonized wail as Fenris’ fist punched _through_ her stomach and stayed there. The pain was unlike anything she had ever felt, and she was pinned against the wall by one solid arm across her shoulders and one phased arm in her.

“I should kill you,” Fenris growled, and his voice was so angry and so... _broken._

But he wasn’t the only one that had lost someone, and Lavellan snarled at him through her pain. Always in the back of her mind she saw the faces of the soldiers that had died under her watch.

And blue eyes that had betrayed her so deeply.

“ _Fenedis iasa_ you self-centered son of a bitch,” she spat before wrapping her fingers around his neck, pressing the fade mark to the lyrium tattoos and focussing her power there. Fenris let out a tortured cry as the bright fade-green of the mark tore along his tattoos, and he jerked back with an uncontrollable spasm and fell to the ground.

Lavellan dropped to the floor with a gasp, arm wrapping around her stomach, half expecting a gaping wound, but of course finding nothing but an unpleasant sensation.

“You aren’t the only one who’s lost someone, Fenris!” she bit out between gritted teeth, using the wall to support herself as she got to her feet, “This war has claimed so many!”

Fenris was on his feet and glowering at her, “I don’t care about the others,” he growled, then stalked forward again.

They exchanged more blows and parries; Lavellan’s hand scorching a path over his arm, Fenris elbowing her in the ribs. Until they found themselves backed into the corner and Fenris’ hands fisted in the front of Lavellan’s tunic as her fingers twisted into his long hair and their mouths crashed together.

All teeth and biting, the kiss was feral and they grasped at each other as though the very universe was trying to tear them apart. It was instinct; now their fury was diminished, their bodies craved another kind of contact.

They finally pulled back with low gasps, eyes meeting with intense stares, and an entire conversation was held within that gaze.

Then they fell together again, gentler this time, but no less energetic.

Fenris’ hands slid down to Lavellan’s hips and lifted to pin her against the wall as they kissed, her fingers combing back through his hair and then gripping tightly again. Her tongue slid against his as she wrapped her legs around his waist tightly, her heels digging into the small of his back.

It was ill-decided, they knew it, but they both hurt so much it seemed the least they could do was take comfort in each other.

Fenris slid a hand up under her chin to tilt her head back as he claimed her mouth, growling low in his throat as her fingers twisted in his hair tight enough to hurt.

“Wait,” she yanked his head back and they both took deep breaths, chests heaving. Her tongue darted out to touch the still-bleeding cut on her lip, and Fenris did the same to realise he could taste her on his mouth.

“Not here,” she unwrapped her legs from his hips and he set her down on the ground, both feeling the palpable tension, “come on,” her voice was set, and she held out a hand to him.

As he put his hand into hers, they both knew the unspoken feud was over. Fenris had projected his loss and pain on to her, blamed her for a decision she had no way of winning, and she had taken out her anger on him in place of the man who had left her without explanation.

She lead him the back way up to her quarters as the celebration in the main hall was still in motion.

They walked in silence until she shut the door to her quarters, at which point Fenris’ mouth was upon her again and he lifted her to press her against the door. Her arms went over his shoulders and she wrapped her legs around his waist so he could carry her up the stairs.

Despite never being in the room before, Fenris navigated to the bed without fault, and they fell upon it without hesitation. Fenris settled between her legs as she nipped and licked at his lips before kissing him forcefully again.

Lavellan’s hand slipped from Fenris’ hair to unfasten his shirt, making quick work of the buttons before pushing it off his shoulders, humming softly as he shrugged it off onto the floor.

Her hands slid over his skin and she couldn’t help the sharp inhale as the lyrium in his skin responded to her magic, tingling her senses. Her head fell back against the pillows with a low gasp as he pushed his hips down between her legs, and his tattoos danced beneath her hands.

Fenris’ lips pressed to her neck as he pulled her tunic up, slowly at first then off over her head, discarding it to the floor. His mouth stayed at her collar, nose buried at her neck as his hand slid up over her chest, the sparks of lyrium drawing shivers and small noises from her unbidden.

His mouth trailed lower without preamble, kissing down over her chest before his tongue dragged over her nipple. A breathy encouraging noise escaped her as his hands slid her pants down off her hips.

Her face changed all of a sudden, her surety taking on an anxious look, and Fenris stopped.

“Are you okay?” He murmured, voice low and gruff against her breast.

She looked somewhat startled, but nodded, “Yeah…” she nodded, “this is just...the first…my first.” She flushed bright pink, and seemed annoyed, as though she had only just realised.

“Your first?” Fenris raised his head, and his eyebrows lifted when she nodded,“but you and-”

“We never…” she stopped and frowned, then sighed, “We never.”

“Are you sure you-,” Fenris started to draw away, but her legs stayed wrapped firmly around his waist.

“Yes.” There was no doubt in her voice, and her hands slid to Fenris’ face as she repeated, “Yes.”

They both wanted and needed this, and Fenris hummed a low pleased noise.

He lowered his mouth to her breast again and her head fell back with a soft gasp as his hands finished sliding her pants down and off, discarding them to the floor.

His palms slid back over her legs, dragging up over her thighs as he mouthed down over her ribs and stomach. Fenris’ body slipped down over the bed until his shoulders were down between her legs, and he pressed heavy kisses between her hips, feeling the way her hand clenched and unclenched in his hair.

Everywhere the lyrium on his skin touch she shivered, and as he ran a palm up the inside of her thigh she audibly moaned, her hips shifting impatiently.

His breaths puffed against her skin as he dipped lower and lower before he finally pressed his mouth between her legs, palms holding her legs apart as she let out a gasp, her back arching from the bed.

He used one hand to hold her hips down as his tongue darted out and she shivered forcefully, her hands dropping to the bed to grip the sheets.

She moaned as his mouth moved over her, his tongue drawing noises from her she didn’t know she could make. His free hand stroked her inner thigh as his mouth worked her, then eventually slipped in closer, gently and slowly pushing a single finger into her.

Lavellan puffed out a surprised noise, not adversed to the sensation, then the lyrium tattoos on his hand reacted and her hips jerked from the bed with a shuddering gasp.

Fenris rumbled a low laugh against her at her reaction, and he didn’t have to work much harder to have her writhing on the bed and moaning his name.

Her pleasured noises rose in volume as he moved his finger slowly in and out. His tongue moved against her, and soon she hand one hand fisted in his hair and her heels digging into the bed.

“A-ah! Fenris...I-I-” she was incoherent as she tensed, and Fenris only upped the pace to draw the urgent moans from her until they reached their peak and her whole body shuddered with a faltering cry. Her head pressed back into the pillow as she orgasmed, her hips pressing up into Fenris’ mouth and fingers gripping his hair so tight it hurt. But he didn’t let up, crooking his finger inside her and tongue moving until she rode out the gasps and spasms of pleasure and slumped back down onto the bed. Her chest riose and fell rapidly with heavy breaths.

Fenris moved slowly away from her then, rolling over to lie on his back next to her, looking up at the ceiling, only maintaining their connection with the back of one hand resting against her stomach.

It took her a few minutes to come down and catch her breath, although when she did her attention was immediately on him, and she shifted onto her side to press against him. Her hand slid over his chest, and when he didn’t pull away she leaned down to kiss him.

The kiss was gentle at first, but as she ran a hand down over his stomach and pressed a hand to the swell in his pants, it became far more heated.

Lavellan waste no time divesting Fenris of his pants, and she couldn’t resist running her fingertips down over the lyrium tattoos that cut a path over his hips and legs.

With a low groan, Fenris hooked an arm around her back and pulled Lavellan onto his lap, sitting up as he pressed his tongue into her mouth, his other hand cradling her head.

She leaned up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she pressed into the kiss, breaths exhaling heavily through her nose as she readied herself.

Finally, when she was ready, she lowered herself onto Fenris’ lap, shivering when tip of his shaft pressed into her, then gasping with a surprised noise at the sensation as she slid lower and he filled her.

Their kiss broke and Fenris dropped his head to her shoulder with choked noise, fingers curled against her back as he gave her time to adjust.

Eventually she leaned to the side and tugged at his shoulders, pulling him down on top of her as she laid back.

“You want me to do the work?” Fenris murmured in an amused tone against her neck, and he didn’t have to look to know she was smiling.

“My stomach hurts from where you _had your arm in me._ ” She said by way of excuse, rolling her hips a little when he was still motionless inside her.

“As though I’m not equally injured?” He rumbled, but cut of anything she could say in response as he rocked his hips and drew a surprised gasp from her.

Fenris started a slow pace at first, humming low pleasured noises against her shoulder as he thrust, her legs wrapped up around his waist and heels digging into his back. Her hands moved from his hair to his shoulders and back again, trying to find purchase as small gasps and moans escaped her.

As the pleasure began to build, so did the pace, and with nothing but encouraging noises of pleasure from Lavellan, Fenris didn’t hold back. With his hands braced on the bed at her shoulders, his hips rolled against her again and again, drawing steadily rising cries of pleasure as he fought to keep his own quiet.

“A-aah! Fenris!” Her head was thrown back and her long fingers gripped his shoulders and she rode into his thrusts.

As he neared his peak, Fenris slipped a hand down between her legs, rubbing with his thumb as he thrust more and more erratically, ripping her second orgasm from her before his own. She cried out, louder than the first, and tore at the sheets as Fenris continued to drive into her, her back arched up uncontrollably.

“Gods!”

Fenris came with a low growl, shuddering as he thrust into her a few more times before abruptly stilling. His head was ducked down against her shoulder as he gripped the bedsheets so tight his knuckles were white.

He rode out his orgasm as Lavellan came down from hers, shudders wracking his form and drawing small, tired moans from her.

They were both breathing heavy as Fenris finally pulled away, moving over to lie down on his side next to her. He rested with the bridge of his nose against her shoulder, one hand on her stomach. She placed her hand on top of his and looked up at the ceiling as the atmosphere slowly settled to something more sombre.

Flushed and panting as they were, the need and want was over.

“He said he loved me, and then he left.” Lavellen whispered softly, more to herself than to Fenris.

There was silence again, then Fenris slid his arm around her more surely, voice cracking when he spoke.

“It’s been two years and I still don’t know what to do without him.”

Lavellan turned her head to look at him, seeing the tears in his eyes that he was trying to hide behind his hair, and she rolled onto her side to wrap her arms around him tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. There was nothing more she could offer.

\---

They awoke the next day amidst a nest of crumpled sheets and blankets, curled up together in a tangle of limbs.

Fenris was already awake when Lavellan opened her eyes, his eyes focussed up towards the ceiling, his thumb stroking her shoulder absently.

“Varric’s going to be beside himself that we worked this out,” she said quietly, rolling her face against his chest as she fought to adjust to the light.

Fenris snorted, “Your first thought of the day is about that meddlesome dwarf?” His voice was still rough from sleep, but his lips twitched in an amused smirk.

After a few minutes, they extricated themselves from each other, no small feat considering all their limbs were meshed together, and both were extremely sore from their fight.

Lavellan winced with a gasp as she tried to sit up, having to use her arms to push her torso up. Amongst various cuts and heavy bruising, by far the worst was the deep red and purple bruise across her stomach. The pain took her breath away, and she had to take deep inhales through her nose to settle her pulse.

“We should probably go to the healersm” she eventually said, looking to Fenris, who was regarding her with a small frown and guilty eyes. She smiled at him, reaching out to touch his face, “I’ve had worse. And you should see yourself,” she reminded him.

Fenris had no small amount of injuries; including a wide angry burn that stretched from his collar and up over his neck.

“What do you want to tell the others?” he asked her, not reacting to her touch as he watched her carefully.

She lowered her hand, her eyes regarding is face in silence for a moment.

“I would like you stay at my side,” she said honestly, unable to immediately gauge his reaction from his carefully schooled face.

“I would like that as well,” Fenris agreed after a moment of silence, his voice quiet as his eyes darted away from hers.

Lavellan smiled, breathing out a soft sigh of relief, before she carefully moved towards him, accepting his help so she could crawl into his lap.

“Then I suppose we need to tell them the truth.”

She kissed him then, gentle fingers running over his face as his arms wrapped around her back.

\---

The news of them being together was unremarkable for all but the closest of their friends. No one disapproved, and Cole took every chance to comment on how happy they were making each other.

Not that Cole commenting on it made Fenris very happy at all.

And Varric was, of course, beside himself with happiness and relief.

\---

Their relationship lasted a good 6 months before it came to its natural end. They had both worked through their pain together, and came out the other side with an understanding of how to carry on.

A year after first arriving, it was time for Fenris to move on. He had promised Hawke that he would keep an eye on the rest of their family, and he recently received word from Merril that his assistance would be appreciated back in the Free Marshes.

There was an official farewell in the main hall, and a thank you for all his work for the Inquisition, before Varric and Lavellan walked him to the bridge where a horse was waiting.

“Don’t you forget to write, Broody. Let us know you make it across safely.” Varric was putting on a brave face, but he was devastated to see his friend go.

Fenris nodded brusquely, hesitating a moment before extending a hand to Varric. Varric tried to hide his surprise as he took the handshake gratefully. Once it was over, Varric looked between Lavellan and Fenris, then excused himself with one last goodbye.

“Do write to Varric. He goes crazy not knowing how you guys are fairing,” Lavellan told Fenris with a smile, stepping closer. She was sad to see him go, sad to loose his support, but they both knew they would be all right.

“I will,” Fenris agreed, then stepped forward to meet her in an embrace. She pressed her face into his neck, fingers curling in the back of his coat, and breathed him in one last time.

“I will miss you,” she admitted quietly as they pulled back, and then accepted the gentle kiss Fenris pressed to her lips.

It last only a few seconds, but it was enough.

He climbed upon the horse, and after one last glance he left.

But it was okay. They both knew that now.

 


End file.
